daily Life
1 Comment Accidents
Okay, time for a rant. Er, what do you mean all I DO is rant on this blog (Nasir?).
Warning: Obscene and highly warranted language follows.
Anyway, on my way to work this morning, I was crossing at a green light with a white “walk” symbol and some dim-witted fucking bitch almost ran me down with her SUV. When she finally sees me, she swerves, but TOWARD ME. She was making a left on a red light. She had Ontario plates. There was a really dull look on her face. Now, the last time I checked my driver’s manual (and I do so very rarely because, I know how to fucking drive) you do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, on this side of the globe, above the equator and Tropic of Cancer, TURN LEFT ON A FUCKING RED LIGHT.
I’ve always said, “There are no accidents. Just careless, half-witted, fuck-tards.”
Oddly, I had just been discussing why a co-worker was hobbling around on crutches for the last couple of months. Care to field a guess? She was hit by a car on these dumb-shit streets of Toronto. I can only say that to get a drivers’ license in this day and age, you should be subjected to testing as rigorous and demanding as a space shuttle or airline pilot. Really. You think I’m kidding? It will weed out all the shit-birds with half a brain and then, the more conscientious driving population can relax in the knowledge that if we get the dip-shits talking on cell phones, drinking booze, eating cereal (true story) or doing their fucking make-up off the road, they’ll get to where they’re going alive. The ones that fail the driving course can take public transit or walk.
I also think there needs to be zero tolerance laws in place for these assholes who are doing ANYTHING other than DRIVING. Do they not understand that a car is a weapon of destruction? It can KILL PEOPLE. It’s like walking around shooting a gun randomly into crowds and hoping it doesn’t hit anyone. And yet, car manufacturers seem to think it’s necessary to install KITT-like computer dashboard distractions like GPS and fucking DVD-Players. ARE YOU ALL STUPID?
If I were King of the Universe (and you are all god-damned lucky I am not) there would be laser-sharp, nuclear missile guidance systems installed on top of cameras on every highway and byway analyzing the drivers’ every fucking move. If they even look at the radio and take their eyes off the road, their vehicle and all the passengers within will be vaporized in a fiery ball of heat, while the rest of the drivers just roll over the ashes, their terrified eyes safely glued to the road and their minds sharply focused on the task they are charged with.
So let’s not be like Dummy the Dumbfuck, who nearly ruined my family’s and lover’s Christmas by running me over several times because she couldn’t find the fucking brake. Drive safe and have a Happy Holiday…














