(11:51:33 AM) hideous hooligan: hey
(11:52:03 AM) hideous hooligan: its 4 sausages, 2 brown eggs, 2 toast and Heinz Beans for Breaky
(11:52:30 AM) hideous hooligan: what did U have?
(11:52:50 AM) hideous hooligan: *guess #1 muffin and coffee or #2 Bagel and cofeee
(11:52:56 AM) BuCkSaTaN: Coffee and a power bar.
(11:53:07 AM) hideous hooligan: OM fkn GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!
(11:53:12 AM) hideous hooligan: hes GONE INSANE !!!!!
(11:53:16 AM) BuCkSaTaN: Again with the fucking food check…
(11:53:29 AM) BuCkSaTaN: You are obsessed with my eating habits. Freak.
(11:54:22 AM) hideous hooligan: naw man since I ate some uncooked fish I ended up with worms. I think they have affectd my Brain so therefore I am worried U may end up with the same fate.
(11:54:38 AM) BuCkSaTaN: I don’t eat uncooked fish, so I should be fine.
(11:55:17 AM) hideous hooligan: its was non cooked prperley
(11:55:40 AM) hideous hooligan: and I ended up with worms in my intestines that were the size of GardnerSnakes
(11:55:40 AM) BuCkSaTaN: Maybe you should check that before you start shoveling it into your yap.

Another in the “old man” sandwich series, these time honored lunches are for the bachelor, the home office worker or for someone just too damn lazy to make a proper meal in this fast-paced work-a-day world.

What you’ll need:

2 pieces of bread
(white, bleached crap - bread is simply the device in which the real food is held.)
A tube of Piller’s liverwurst.
(Can be regular flavor, although I prefer onion and garlic myself.)
Lettuce
(iceberg - nothing fancy, merely there for the texture.)
Salt and pepper
Margarine or Butter

The bread absolutely must be fresh. I suggest “Wonder Bread” since with the amount of bleaching and preservatives, it’ll go stale somewhere around the time frame of 2 years. Slather the bread in butter (both sides, cheapskate). Tear open the lettuce and put three large pieces to the side for now. Open the Piller’s with a serrated knife and cut off half-inch hunks from the roll. place around five of these little disks of taste explosion on one half of the bread. drop the slices of lettuce on top of that. Mash the top half buttered bread on that, making sure the butter keeps it all together. Slice in half. Wash down with a ice cold beer of choice. (Oh yeah and wash the lettuce for bugs - you don’t want any fuckin’ surprises.)

This delightful dish is a time honored lunch for those on the go, working overtime or just can’t be bothered to make anything else. And, because the key ingredients are always the last things in the pantry, you’ll never have to run down to the market.

What you’ll need:

2 pieces of bread
1 spanish (or red) onion
1 block Canadian cheddar
Dijon mustard
Margarine or Butter

Throw the two pieces of bread into a toaster of your choice. While the bread is toasting, cut large hunks of the cheddar, then slice thin pieces of the onion - as much as you’re willing to handle. Once the toast pops, slather with butter - or a cheap margarine works best. Cover the one slice of bread with Dijon, throw on a plate - cut in half. Wash down with a half-cup of cold coffee.