[12:48] <Gary>
i love how Subway’s slogon is “eat fresh” yet they almost always serve you a stale bun

[12:49] <BuCkSaTaN>
Yeah I hear ya… and their bread ovens smell like formaldehyde mixed with bleach.
It’s like, where the fuck are you getting that dough? I think you used Comet, there jackass, not flour.

[11:55] Gary: Gary act’s like a moron in Queens:
i went to a italian take out in queens that had sweet veal on the menu.
it was one of those places where you order on one side and pick up on the other
i argued with the guy cause i just wanted a plain fucken veal sandwich. not sweet, not hot
so i ordered and had the guy make me a plain veal sandwich. so i go over to the pickup and the guy is yelling sweet veal, sweet veal for pickup. all the while i’m standing there ignorning him thinking i’m getting a plain veal shortly
about 20mins later the cashier walks over and tells me that the sweet veal the other guy was yelling about was actually mine.
a cold veal sandwich is disgusting!
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: haha you bonehead. Did you want sauce on it?
[11:56] Gary: yeah
[11:56] Gary: i wanted a veal sandwich with cheese and sauce.
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: Well you have to choose whether you want sweet or hot ya loo.
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: They were muttering to themselves – “Fuckin’ manga cake.”
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:57] Gary: some places don’t ask you that. if you ask for a veal sandwich, they put all that on it
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: Well sweet just means that you don’t want hot (spicy sauce)
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: In other words, normal.
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:58] Gary: haha yes i found that out 20mins after my sandwich was made
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: hahahaha
[11:58] Gary: worst sandwich ever

[Months later... Gary and I return to sandwiches as a source of debate...]

1:54:01 PM BuCkSaTaN: wow… this is a REALLY good crabcake sandwich…
1:55:19 PM Gary: never had a crab-cake sandwich
1:55:27 PM Gary: what kind of sauce on it?
1:55:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: chipotle mayo
1:58:43 PM Gary: sounds good
1:58:46 PM Gary: where did you get it?
1:59:10 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Market
1:59:28 PM Gary: do you go to the veal shop downstairs?
1:59:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Ukranian place?
1:59:42 PM Gary: mr.mustachios or what ever
1:59:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: The sandwich place?
1:59:53 PM Gary: italian
1:59:54 PM BuCkSaTaN: They suck
2:00:02 PM Gary: NO WAY
2:00:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: Can ya put MORE debris on my fuckin’ sandwich?
2:00:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can’t even find the veal
2:00:23 PM Gary: get their chicken Parmesan on a focaccia
2:00:27 PM Gary: haha
2:00:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: And their sauce is made by a goon… nice and chunky like a good dump… sick
2:00:41 PM Gary: hahaha
2:00:43 PM Gary: wow
2:00:49 PM Gary: you had a bad time there i guess
2:00:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: I know good Italian sauce man
2:00:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: I MAKE good Italian sauce
2:01:05 PM Gary: every time i have had it there it was good
2:01:08 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not fuckin’ RAGU…
2:01:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: puke
2:01:30 PM Gary: i guess they have changed then
2:01:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: Then why don’tcha pile a wad of fuckin’ zucchini on my sandwich ya fuckers
2:01:39 PM Gary: i haven’t been there in a few years
2:01:42 PM BuCkSaTaN: Like wtf
2:01:50 PM BuCkSaTaN: blah
2:02:13 PM BuCkSaTaN: If I made their sandwiches, they’d sell out… no one would go to any of the other shops.
2:02:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: losers
2:03:44 PM Gary: they use to be really amazing
2:04:55 PM BuCkSaTaN: Hmm… I’ve given them two chances and they fucked it up both times. I might as well try to deep throat a loaf of bread down my gullet and wash it down with a can of Ragu.
2:05:06 PM Gary: haha
2:05:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: mmmm tasty… I know the chicken is in here somewhere!
2:05:20 PM Gary: i use to go there when i worked in that area
2:05:22 PM BuCkSaTaN: Amongst the debris
2:05:35 PM Gary: the sandwiches were huge and stuffed with meat
2:05:36 PM BuCkSaTaN: Lemme sift through the mound of peppers and onions…. vomit
2:05:48 PM BuCkSaTaN: nope… nothing there
2:05:54 PM Gary: you’d get like 3 huge peices of veal on there
2:06:06 PM Gary: guess those where the good old days
2:06:15 PM Gary: that’s a shame
2:06:26 PM BuCkSaTaN: I’ll try them one more time… and say, listen asshole… I want… one piece of veal… a bun, some tomato and mayo… because apparently you have no idea how to make sauce.
2:06:48 PM Gary: happens when places get to making alot of money, then the quality drops
2:06:51 PM Gary: haha
2:06:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: bah
2:07:17 PM Gary: i remember it different and it wasn’t heavy sauced either.
2:07:18 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can make my own sandwiches and actually enjoy them without eating through a mountain of eggplant to find the meat.
2:07:27 PM Gary: gross
2:07:29 PM Gary: haha
2:07:33 PM BuCkSaTaN: This shit can stand on it’s own if they dumped it out of the pot.
2:07:44 PM Gary: i’d always get the chicken parm or veal parm and have to ask for extra sauce
2:07:51 PM BuCkSaTaN: It’s like dude… THICK sauce isn’t good. It’s like drinking a glass of congealed tomato juice.
2:08:03 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: Learn how to use oil you pinheads
2:08:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not water
2:08:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: cheap bastards
2:08:21 PM Gary: sounds gross now
2:08:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: They’re a disgrace to the Italian community.
2:08:40 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:08:48 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:52 PM Gary: sheesh dude
2:09:00 PM Gary: it can’t have gone down hill that badly
2:09:05 PM BuCkSaTaN: a fuckin’ disgrace
2:09:07 PM Gary: haha
2:09:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: That’s all I’m gonna say
2:09:11 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:09:24 PM BuCkSaTaN: To me, it’s like your new york experience
2:09:54 PM Gary: sweet veal
2:10:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha well, that makes sense to me tho…
2:10:45 PM Gary: well how about i get you a sweet coffee buddy
2:10:54 PM Gary: oh what?!? you wanted sugar?!?
2:11:15 PM Gary: we call that a sweet sugar coffee
2:11:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: There’s only two types of veal sang-weeges man… a “sweet” or (normal) veal and a hot veal..
2:11:33 PM Gary: we changed the meaning of sweet. it now means, plain with nothing on it
2:11:38 PM BuCkSaTaN: hahaha
2:11:52 PM Gary: sorry for the confusion

Awhile back I spoke of the insanity of the Real Doll.
Article One: Has The World Gone Mad?
Article Two: Silicone Love Update…

Well, I’ve just been gobsmacked again when stumbling upon the silicone equivalent of the proverbial bag over a woman’s head during sex. Not happy with your ugly girlfriend? Always wanted to make boing-boing with that Hentai character you’ve been wanking to? Purchase a “Cute Mask” and your woman can become anyone you like! How anyone that owns something like this could be in a relationship is beyond me, but there you have it.

http://photogenicdoll.cutegirl.jp/mask/

Welcome to Westworld!

God help me, I don’t know why, but I think it’s funny to shout CB lingo over messenger.

4:26:38 PM gjuddy mcmudd: back
4:28:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: HEY GOOD BUDDY! BREAKER BREAKER!
4:30:51 PM BuCkSaTaN: YA JUST BLEW MA BACK DOORS OFF GOOD BUDDY!
4:31:02 PM BuCkSaTaN: THAT’S A 10-28 GOOD BUDDY
4:31:14 PM gjuddy mcmudd: ah huh
4:36:07 PM BuCkSaTaN: WHAT’S THAT, GOOD BUDDY? THAT WAS A 10-1 ON THAT LAST TRANSMISSION!

(4:43:57 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I have to start writing more on my blog on stop lazily posting messenger conversations instead. You used to write some good stuff – what happened to ya? Now we’re both too lazy to think.
(4:45:40 PM) bad unkle v2.0: its pointless..
(4:46:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: its like masturbating in front of an audience. It might seem cool at the time, but having a record of it is just embarassing

News Article on George Clooney’s Pig.

(2:17:26 PM) BuCkSaTaN: It’s so terrible! My life’s tragedies are nothing compared to George’s.
(2:19:45 PM) bad unkle v2.0: sad news about the pig
(2:24:37 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Sad?! I didn’t cry as much when my father passed away!
(2:25:44 PM) bad unkle v2.0: clooney is a good man. im sure his pig was pure hearted as well
(2:25:53 PM) BuCkSaTaN: FUCK HIM
(2:26:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: oh joe.. i think your angst is forced
(2:26:23 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Oh I assure you, it’s not.
(2:28:19 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I don’t understand why “eccentric” movie celebrities feel the need to have FOOD as pets.
(2:28:22 PM) BuCkSaTaN: assholes…
(2:31:17 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I think I’ll get myself a chicken for a pet.
(2:31:33 PM) BuCkSaTaN: And just let it roam around my apartment shitting on everything.
(2:33:36 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Or how about a fish tank full of lobster and shrimp. As pets.