joeblog

11:32:41 AM BuCkSaTaN: So did you say you didn’t like the Wacom Bamboo tablet?

11:33:18 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: i said it’s a great mouse but not a very good drawing tablet

11:33:58 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: it especially sucks if you switch from an intous to the bamboo

11:34:28 AM BuCkSaTaN: I got one, I like it a lot. Good portable tablet.

11:34:44 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: okay.

11:35:05 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: what did you have before?

11:35:31 AM BuCkSaTaN: I have an Intuos 3

11:36:24 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: i guess we just use it differently

11:36:39 AM BuCkSaTaN: I guess… haha

11:36:55 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: i noticed a huge different in pressure sensitivity but that’s to be expected.

11:37:26 AM BuCkSaTaN: I just changed it in the prefs… they’re in system preferences.

11:37:33 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: ughh

11:37:47 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: that’s not what i’m talking about

11:39:52 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: maybe after a few years of painting digitally you will understand or not. depends on how you draw

11:40:28 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: when i speak about pressure sensitivity, it has nothing to do with the pressure slider in the prefs

11:44:04 AM BuCkSaTaN: I guess us lowly cartoonists know nothing about pressure sensitivity…. I will try harder to get better at this…I am new to the whole world, so… thanks for the tip!

11:45:54 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: relax…

11:46:20 AM BuCkSaTaN: I have so much to learn, oh seasoned professional…

11:46:36 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: i keep talking about the pressure points in the tablet and you keep mentioning the slider.

11:46:52 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: what do you want me too say?

11:47:19 AM BuCkSaTaN: Yes, I know… oh woe is me and my uninformed methods of getting my ideas onto this wretched box of wires and chips…

11:47:38 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: oh brother

11:48:27 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: the pressure in the tablet is EVERYTHING to me. it’s the difference between me breaking my monitor or not

11:49:04 AM BuCkSaTaN: I can only hope to learn from my mistakes and follow in the great shoes of Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy… My only hope is that I am able to reach beyond my meagre and underdeveloped talent to rise above my lowlt station. Thanks chum!

11:49:36 AM BuCkSaTaN: I will try harder to understand Obi Wan… thank you for your sage words and solid consumer advice.

11:49:51 AM Skippin’ Smilin’ Hat-Boy: jesus

[12:48] <Gary>
i love how Subway’s slogon is “eat fresh” yet they almost always serve you a stale bun

[12:49] <BuCkSaTaN>
Yeah I hear ya… and their bread ovens smell like formaldehyde mixed with bleach.
It’s like, where the fuck are you getting that dough? I think you used Comet, there jackass, not flour.

[11:55] Gary: Gary act’s like a moron in Queens:
i went to a italian take out in queens that had sweet veal on the menu.
it was one of those places where you order on one side and pick up on the other
i argued with the guy cause i just wanted a plain fucken veal sandwich. not sweet, not hot
so i ordered and had the guy make me a plain veal sandwich. so i go over to the pickup and the guy is yelling sweet veal, sweet veal for pickup. all the while i’m standing there ignorning him thinking i’m getting a plain veal shortly
about 20mins later the cashier walks over and tells me that the sweet veal the other guy was yelling about was actually mine.
a cold veal sandwich is disgusting!
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: haha you bonehead. Did you want sauce on it?
[11:56] Gary: yeah
[11:56] Gary: i wanted a veal sandwich with cheese and sauce.
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: Well you have to choose whether you want sweet or hot ya loo.
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: They were muttering to themselves – “Fuckin’ manga cake.”
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:57] Gary: some places don’t ask you that. if you ask for a veal sandwich, they put all that on it
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: Well sweet just means that you don’t want hot (spicy sauce)
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: In other words, normal.
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:58] Gary: haha yes i found that out 20mins after my sandwich was made
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: hahahaha
[11:58] Gary: worst sandwich ever

[Months later... Gary and I return to sandwiches as a source of debate...]

1:54:01 PM BuCkSaTaN: wow… this is a REALLY good crabcake sandwich…
1:55:19 PM Gary: never had a crab-cake sandwich
1:55:27 PM Gary: what kind of sauce on it?
1:55:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: chipotle mayo
1:58:43 PM Gary: sounds good
1:58:46 PM Gary: where did you get it?
1:59:10 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Market
1:59:28 PM Gary: do you go to the veal shop downstairs?
1:59:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Ukranian place?
1:59:42 PM Gary: mr.mustachios or what ever
1:59:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: The sandwich place?
1:59:53 PM Gary: italian
1:59:54 PM BuCkSaTaN: They suck
2:00:02 PM Gary: NO WAY
2:00:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: Can ya put MORE debris on my fuckin’ sandwich?
2:00:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can’t even find the veal
2:00:23 PM Gary: get their chicken Parmesan on a focaccia
2:00:27 PM Gary: haha
2:00:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: And their sauce is made by a goon… nice and chunky like a good dump… sick
2:00:41 PM Gary: hahaha
2:00:43 PM Gary: wow
2:00:49 PM Gary: you had a bad time there i guess
2:00:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: I know good Italian sauce man
2:00:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: I MAKE good Italian sauce
2:01:05 PM Gary: every time i have had it there it was good
2:01:08 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not fuckin’ RAGU…
2:01:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: puke
2:01:30 PM Gary: i guess they have changed then
2:01:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: Then why don’tcha pile a wad of fuckin’ zucchini on my sandwich ya fuckers
2:01:39 PM Gary: i haven’t been there in a few years
2:01:42 PM BuCkSaTaN: Like wtf
2:01:50 PM BuCkSaTaN: blah
2:02:13 PM BuCkSaTaN: If I made their sandwiches, they’d sell out… no one would go to any of the other shops.
2:02:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: losers
2:03:44 PM Gary: they use to be really amazing
2:04:55 PM BuCkSaTaN: Hmm… I’ve given them two chances and they fucked it up both times. I might as well try to deep throat a loaf of bread down my gullet and wash it down with a can of Ragu.
2:05:06 PM Gary: haha
2:05:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: mmmm tasty… I know the chicken is in here somewhere!
2:05:20 PM Gary: i use to go there when i worked in that area
2:05:22 PM BuCkSaTaN: Amongst the debris
2:05:35 PM Gary: the sandwiches were huge and stuffed with meat
2:05:36 PM BuCkSaTaN: Lemme sift through the mound of peppers and onions…. vomit
2:05:48 PM BuCkSaTaN: nope… nothing there
2:05:54 PM Gary: you’d get like 3 huge peices of veal on there
2:06:06 PM Gary: guess those where the good old days
2:06:15 PM Gary: that’s a shame
2:06:26 PM BuCkSaTaN: I’ll try them one more time… and say, listen asshole… I want… one piece of veal… a bun, some tomato and mayo… because apparently you have no idea how to make sauce.
2:06:48 PM Gary: happens when places get to making alot of money, then the quality drops
2:06:51 PM Gary: haha
2:06:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: bah
2:07:17 PM Gary: i remember it different and it wasn’t heavy sauced either.
2:07:18 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can make my own sandwiches and actually enjoy them without eating through a mountain of eggplant to find the meat.
2:07:27 PM Gary: gross
2:07:29 PM Gary: haha
2:07:33 PM BuCkSaTaN: This shit can stand on it’s own if they dumped it out of the pot.
2:07:44 PM Gary: i’d always get the chicken parm or veal parm and have to ask for extra sauce
2:07:51 PM BuCkSaTaN: It’s like dude… THICK sauce isn’t good. It’s like drinking a glass of congealed tomato juice.
2:08:03 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: Learn how to use oil you pinheads
2:08:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not water
2:08:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: cheap bastards
2:08:21 PM Gary: sounds gross now
2:08:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: They’re a disgrace to the Italian community.
2:08:40 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:08:48 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:52 PM Gary: sheesh dude
2:09:00 PM Gary: it can’t have gone down hill that badly
2:09:05 PM BuCkSaTaN: a fuckin’ disgrace
2:09:07 PM Gary: haha
2:09:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: That’s all I’m gonna say
2:09:11 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:09:24 PM BuCkSaTaN: To me, it’s like your new york experience
2:09:54 PM Gary: sweet veal
2:10:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha well, that makes sense to me tho…
2:10:45 PM Gary: well how about i get you a sweet coffee buddy
2:10:54 PM Gary: oh what?!? you wanted sugar?!?
2:11:15 PM Gary: we call that a sweet sugar coffee
2:11:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: There’s only two types of veal sang-weeges man… a “sweet” or (normal) veal and a hot veal..
2:11:33 PM Gary: we changed the meaning of sweet. it now means, plain with nothing on it
2:11:38 PM BuCkSaTaN: hahaha
2:11:52 PM Gary: sorry for the confusion

Awhile back I spoke of the insanity of the Real Doll.
Article One: Has The World Gone Mad?
Article Two: Silicone Love Update…

Well, I’ve just been gobsmacked again when stumbling upon the silicone equivalent of the proverbial bag over a woman’s head during sex. Not happy with your ugly girlfriend? Always wanted to make boing-boing with that Hentai character you’ve been wanking to? Purchase a “Cute Mask” and your woman can become anyone you like! How anyone that owns something like this could be in a relationship is beyond me, but there you have it.

http://photogenicdoll.cutegirl.jp/mask/

Welcome to Westworld!

God help me, I don’t know why, but I think it’s funny to shout CB lingo over messenger.

4:26:38 PM gjuddy mcmudd: back
4:28:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: HEY GOOD BUDDY! BREAKER BREAKER!
4:30:51 PM BuCkSaTaN: YA JUST BLEW MA BACK DOORS OFF GOOD BUDDY!
4:31:02 PM BuCkSaTaN: THAT’S A 10-28 GOOD BUDDY
4:31:14 PM gjuddy mcmudd: ah huh
4:36:07 PM BuCkSaTaN: WHAT’S THAT, GOOD BUDDY? THAT WAS A 10-1 ON THAT LAST TRANSMISSION!

(4:43:57 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I have to start writing more on my blog on stop lazily posting messenger conversations instead. You used to write some good stuff – what happened to ya? Now we’re both too lazy to think.
(4:45:40 PM) bad unkle v2.0: its pointless..
(4:46:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: its like masturbating in front of an audience. It might seem cool at the time, but having a record of it is just embarassing

News Article on George Clooney’s Pig.

(2:17:26 PM) BuCkSaTaN: It’s so terrible! My life’s tragedies are nothing compared to George’s.
(2:19:45 PM) bad unkle v2.0: sad news about the pig
(2:24:37 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Sad?! I didn’t cry as much when my father passed away!
(2:25:44 PM) bad unkle v2.0: clooney is a good man. im sure his pig was pure hearted as well
(2:25:53 PM) BuCkSaTaN: FUCK HIM
(2:26:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: oh joe.. i think your angst is forced
(2:26:23 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Oh I assure you, it’s not.
(2:28:19 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I don’t understand why “eccentric” movie celebrities feel the need to have FOOD as pets.
(2:28:22 PM) BuCkSaTaN: assholes…
(2:31:17 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I think I’ll get myself a chicken for a pet.
(2:31:33 PM) BuCkSaTaN: And just let it roam around my apartment shitting on everything.
(2:33:36 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Or how about a fish tank full of lobster and shrimp. As pets.

Working in the adult industry online has taught me that there are a great deal of pathetic, deperate, loser males out there. But if anything screams “shut-in-hermit-cum-serial-killer” more than the users of silicone dolls, I really can’t imagine what does. It reminds me of something out of a David Lynch film or Dennis Hopper’s sad, lonely schizoid from “River’s Edge“.

Guys are even posting photo galleries of their silicone love bunnies… After studying these realistic representations of the human form, it makes me think it would be akin to having a corpse propped up around the flat. Honestly, how socially inept and derranged does one have to be to pay over $7000 dollars of hard earned money for one of these anatomically correct, poseable action figures?

See how our society is going straight to hell for yourself:

•Wife not puttin’ out Jimbo? Visit our “showroom“(!)
•American bimbos your thing?
•Tits as big as watermelons?
•Or how about a nice asian school girl?
•Here’s another hentai honey. [ice cream not included...]
…and let’s not forget the ladies…

You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear…

.

From the Capla Kesting Fine Art opening’s web site (for more click the picture):

“A nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug while giving birth to her firstborn marks a ‘first’ for Pro-Life. Pop-star Britney Spears is the “ideal” model for Pro-Life and the subject of a dedication at Capla Kesting Fine Art in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg gallery district, in what is proclaimed the first Pro-Life monument to birth, in April.“

I don’t own a Windows box, nor do I use any “popular” messenger, so I can’t really say what goes on with the blinking, whizzing ads and consistent harassment from porn scum over ICQ. This hilarious transcript, of just such an instance, amazes me with the absolute greed under which these assholes operate.

Also, anyone using or LOL should have urine thrown on them.

And while we’re at it: I almost choked to death laughing at this one.
[both articles from Something Awful]