This mobile app shit has gotten out of hand.
With every asshole and his grandmother racing to get an iPhone app out there, for whatever reason, Scotiabank has decided to make their own. Well, yes, it looks nice and has an intuitive enough interface, but when it decided to transfer 700 dollars into the ether this morning, I had to warn you all not to use this bug-infested piece of shit software.
I tried to send 700 dollars to my girlfriend this morning and when it didn’t arrive, I went into their poorly coded website to see what was up. Clicking on “view or stop transfer” (why these two actions are grouped, I’ll never know) and here’s what I was greeted with:
Wow… imagine my shock. I send 700 dollars and the bank tells me that it doesn’t exist, nor did anyone get the transfer. Did it go into someone’s personal account? Perhaps one of the board of directors is going to use it for hookers and blow over the weekend. Whatever the case, I had to call Scotiabank immediately.
Of course I was connected with a last-nameless, faceless female CSR who sounded quite concerned about my problem. She had to “put me on hold” of course, because this problem was way above her head and I am sure these service reps have no computer permissions above the store hours and branch phone numbers. When she returned, she told me that I’d have to contact my girlfriend to get her account information so they could look into it further. Ah, no. No, that won’t be happening. Do they not have computer logs they can access to track the path the money took on their “secured mobile app”? I told her to get her monkey-handler on the phone. Now.
This guy comes on and explains it to me, properly – and now, you, dear reader can benefit from Scotia’s fuck up. The supervisor outlines the following:
1. They’ve hired a third-party company to code and manage the transactions for their app. (What? Really? I’d fire them. Ever heard of security, you fuck-twits? Beta-testing, even??)
2. They can put back the 700 dollars as they have a cute little service called an “emergency funds” replacement program. The problem with this is that they’ll take it back 24 hours later.
3. They have to go to the morons (programmers?) that are handling YOUR monetary transactions and get them to send the 700 dollars to Scotiabank, so Scotiabank can put it back in your account. (This is going to take 3 business days, they say.)
Okay. Is the bank strapped for cash or something? Do they not have 700 dollars they can give me – an innocent in all this – while they figure out their own fuck-up? Not only does the bank misplace 700 dollars (for 3 days, mind you), but they add insult to injury while they distrust me long enough to figure out how my money did indeed, disappear into their system.
Scotiabank… you’ve become the new TD. You better show me the money on Friday.
So, in conclusion, I would delete their app en masse folks. You cannot trust Scotiabank, a bank (!), with something as simple as a transfer.
UPDATE: Yes, my rant has actually garnered the interest of iPhone World and they have called Scotiabank, who have responded:
““Without the customer’s actual information we can’t look into the specifics of what happened in the experience that he outlines. We’d like the opportunity to do so and would urge him to contact us.
What I can tell you is that Scotiabank manages all transactions for our iPhone services and the information is not shared with any third party.
I can also tell you that our mobile banking service is protected by the highest security standards that allow us to offer a mobile security guarantee, which states our commitment to keeping customers’ accounts and financial information safe and secure through a number of measures that ensure the integrity of their transactions and account information.”
(From iPhone World)
Not to be a smart arse, but if their standards are so high (“ensuring the integrity of my transactions”), then how did $700 of my hard-earned dollars disappear like a stealth sub off the radar? Also, it seems a bit progressive of a bank, that probably still uses Windows 98 on most of their 486 PCs (as I have witnessed every time I go to beg for a loan), to have an in-house iPhone Development Team to handle their transactions, don’t you think? I mean, it only makes sense from a cost perspective to outsource these things. Their business is, after all, banking. Not iPhone development.
What exactly will Scotiabank do if I contact them, is my question. Will someone be fired for “spilling the beans” or will they just finally raise my monthly limit for withdrawal? Regardless of whether or not Scotiabank faces up to this odd glitch and fixes it, rather than just assuring you that their software is of the highest quality, I can’t, in good conscience, use their mobile app anymore for fear of having to waste time calling and waiting for another “refund” – or worse. (However, I received my cash back before 48 hours were up, so you all know.)
Anyway, enough of this, time to complain about Fido and the “Great Data Plan Debacle”. (Not as exciting as it sounds.)
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