joeblog

You didn’t think this was going to be a sporadic entry, did you?
This time around, when I merely quit Photoshop or Illustrator after a bit of work, this dialog consistently appears.

How about, "Don't crash. No need to send this dialog to Adobe."

In an effort to find out what happened in part one of “Bug Terror!“, I clicked on the “help” section in the menu of the same Adobe product.

Anybody for a frustration sandwich? Stay tuned!

Well, as we all know, hardly anything goes smoothly in the land of computers. It’s been said many times, that if cars, televisions or other ubiquitous electronics in daily life worked as haphazardly as the soul-sucking personal computer, we’d be in ruins or jumping off a cliff… So, just for my own amusement – or rather, so I don’t grab the nearest blunt object and start smashing this device to bits, I’ve decided to keep track of all the bugs, crashes and various other random fuck-ups on my Mac. Enjoy! Or not.

Trying to encode a run-of-the-mill Quicktime with Adobe's "media encoder". This was the fascinating result.

What the video is supposed to look like:

Grrr... scary pixels I will eat your brains!

11:30:06 AM Gary: I think it’s gonna be a grease burger day!
11:30:13 AM BuCkSaTaN: Hey! Me too!
11:30:23 AM Gary: some nice cheddar cheese
11:30:34 AM Gary: side of poutine?
11:35:54 AM BuCkSaTaN: Nah, I have free McDonalds coupons and I’m gonna cash em ALL in…
11:39:20 AM Gary: oh no
11:39:42 AM BuCkSaTaN: I don’t care what you say… I have Big Mac craving.
11:39:43 AM Gary: mcd’s gives me mud butt next day
11:39:56 AM BuCkSaTaN: sick
11:40:02 AM Gary: I get the serious McShits
11:40:17 AM BuCkSaTaN: Perhaps you should see a doctor about that.
11:40:32 AM Gary: it’s mcd’s that does it hahaha
11:40:45 AM BuCkSaTaN: mmmm… no, no I think not. I think you should see someone. Seriously.
11:40:45 AM Gary: my body doesn’t digest it very well
11:41:12 AM Gary: I mentioned it to my naturopath and she said stop eating mcd’s hahaha
11:41:22 AM BuCkSaTaN: naturopath… hahahahaha
11:41:28 AM Gary: hehe
11:41:49 AM BuCkSaTaN: Of course she’d say that… but of course she’d also say, eat a bunch of grass and rocks too.
11:42:13 AM BuCkSaTaN: Here Gary, drink this delicious mixture of wheat-grass with bug bile.
11:42:22 AM Gary: Next time you’re in a forest, give a tree a hug then eat all the shit around your feet?
11:42:41 AM BuCkSaTaN: Don’t forget to sprinkle a little oat-germ on it.
11:43:03 AM Gary: wheatgrass is tastey tho
11:43:07 AM BuCkSaTaN: I’ll take the big mac thanks.
11:43:10 AM Gary: haha
11:43:10 AM BuCkSaTaN: You only live once.
11:43:15 AM Gary: true
11:43:37 AM Gary: and i wanna leave a rotted intestined corpse
11:43:39 AM BuCkSaTaN: And you can have a nice healthy handful of carib with tofu-vomit on it for dessert.
11:43:51 AM Gary: SWEET
11:44:03 AM Gary: now i’m feeling sick
11:44:12 AM Gary: i’d love a big mac
11:44:15 AM Gary: double big mac
11:44:21 AM Gary: with extra mac sauce
11:44:28 AM BuCkSaTaN: Thaaaat’s right, abstain from everything so you die with a nice healthy corpse. What a waste of life’s enjoyments.
11:44:59 AM BuCkSaTaN: Christ… it’s like, hoard all the money you can and leave it to someone else.
11:45:08 AM BuCkSaTaN: Why not just give it away in this life? Save yourself the trouble…
11:45:18 AM Gary: I love the line …. He died suddenly. He jogged everyday and died suddenly.
11:45:28 AM BuCkSaTaN: Oh I can’t spend… no no no… I need to make sure everyone else can enjoy the fruits of my labor.
11:45:37 AM Gary: yeah true…
11:45:55 AM BuCkSaTaN: There are no guarantees in life except death and taxes.
11:45:56 AM Gary: that’s it…
11:46:04 AM Gary: i’m gonna get me some crack tonight hahahaha
11:46:08 AM BuCkSaTaN: hahahaha
11:46:17 AM BuCkSaTaN: With a heroin chaser!
11:46:18 AM Gary: sheesh
11:46:30 AM Gary: need some hookers too!
11:46:31 AM BuCkSaTaN: Well let’s not get crazy now…
11:46:52 AM Gary: haha
11:47:01 AM BuCkSaTaN: I mean, enjoy within reason… but how the fuck am I going to enjoy life with all my money locked away in the bank and chewing on a celery stick?
11:47:15 AM Gary: you’re not
11:47:28 AM BuCkSaTaN: mmmm… lima beans. That’s livin!
11:47:37 AM Gary: HAHA

I miss the days of transgression.

I really like this site. It’s more than just a listing of tunes and habits. I’ve found more than a few bands by their rather accurate collecting of “like” bands. And given there is really no such thing as categorizations in music these days, places like last.fm and imeem – which actually allows an iPhone app in Canada – are a welcome and entertaining couple of sites.

Anyway, here’s my top 20 bands according to last.fm: Muse should be higher, really.

1		KMFDM			1,054
2		Rammstein			638
3		Melvins			630
4		Frank Zappa			597
5		PJ Harvey			486
6		Queen Adreena			411
7		Skinny Puppy			410
8		Hanzel und Gretyl			382
9		Delerium			337
10		Static-X			333
11		Marilyn Manson			326
12		Metric			307
13		Oomph!			261
13		Ministry			261
15		System of a Down			260
16		The Prodigy			245
17		Blonde Redhead			241
18		Slayer			233
18		Monster Magnet			233
20		Muse			224

By the way, fuck the CRTC.

Let the monetization begin!! Pre-Rolls and CRTC interference, the order of the day!

[12:48] <Gary>
i love how Subway’s slogon is “eat fresh” yet they almost always serve you a stale bun

[12:49] <BuCkSaTaN>
Yeah I hear ya… and their bread ovens smell like formaldehyde mixed with bleach.
It’s like, where the fuck are you getting that dough? I think you used Comet, there jackass, not flour.

[11:55] Gary: Gary act’s like a moron in Queens:
i went to a italian take out in queens that had sweet veal on the menu.
it was one of those places where you order on one side and pick up on the other
i argued with the guy cause i just wanted a plain fucken veal sandwich. not sweet, not hot
so i ordered and had the guy make me a plain veal sandwich. so i go over to the pickup and the guy is yelling sweet veal, sweet veal for pickup. all the while i’m standing there ignorning him thinking i’m getting a plain veal shortly
about 20mins later the cashier walks over and tells me that the sweet veal the other guy was yelling about was actually mine.
a cold veal sandwich is disgusting!
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: haha you bonehead. Did you want sauce on it?
[11:56] Gary: yeah
[11:56] Gary: i wanted a veal sandwich with cheese and sauce.
[11:56] BuCkSaTaN™: Well you have to choose whether you want sweet or hot ya loo.
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: They were muttering to themselves – “Fuckin’ manga cake.”
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:57] Gary: some places don’t ask you that. if you ask for a veal sandwich, they put all that on it
[11:57] BuCkSaTaN™: Well sweet just means that you don’t want hot (spicy sauce)
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: In other words, normal.
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: haha
[11:58] Gary: haha yes i found that out 20mins after my sandwich was made
[11:58] BuCkSaTaN™: hahahaha
[11:58] Gary: worst sandwich ever

[Months later... Gary and I return to sandwiches as a source of debate...]

1:54:01 PM BuCkSaTaN: wow… this is a REALLY good crabcake sandwich…
1:55:19 PM Gary: never had a crab-cake sandwich
1:55:27 PM Gary: what kind of sauce on it?
1:55:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: chipotle mayo
1:58:43 PM Gary: sounds good
1:58:46 PM Gary: where did you get it?
1:59:10 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Market
1:59:28 PM Gary: do you go to the veal shop downstairs?
1:59:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: The Ukranian place?
1:59:42 PM Gary: mr.mustachios or what ever
1:59:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: The sandwich place?
1:59:53 PM Gary: italian
1:59:54 PM BuCkSaTaN: They suck
2:00:02 PM Gary: NO WAY
2:00:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: Can ya put MORE debris on my fuckin’ sandwich?
2:00:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can’t even find the veal
2:00:23 PM Gary: get their chicken Parmesan on a focaccia
2:00:27 PM Gary: haha
2:00:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: And their sauce is made by a goon… nice and chunky like a good dump… sick
2:00:41 PM Gary: hahaha
2:00:43 PM Gary: wow
2:00:49 PM Gary: you had a bad time there i guess
2:00:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: I know good Italian sauce man
2:00:59 PM BuCkSaTaN: I MAKE good Italian sauce
2:01:05 PM Gary: every time i have had it there it was good
2:01:08 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not fuckin’ RAGU…
2:01:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: puke
2:01:30 PM Gary: i guess they have changed then
2:01:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: Then why don’tcha pile a wad of fuckin’ zucchini on my sandwich ya fuckers
2:01:39 PM Gary: i haven’t been there in a few years
2:01:42 PM BuCkSaTaN: Like wtf
2:01:50 PM BuCkSaTaN: blah
2:02:13 PM BuCkSaTaN: If I made their sandwiches, they’d sell out… no one would go to any of the other shops.
2:02:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: losers
2:03:44 PM Gary: they use to be really amazing
2:04:55 PM BuCkSaTaN: Hmm… I’ve given them two chances and they fucked it up both times. I might as well try to deep throat a loaf of bread down my gullet and wash it down with a can of Ragu.
2:05:06 PM Gary: haha
2:05:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: mmmm tasty… I know the chicken is in here somewhere!
2:05:20 PM Gary: i use to go there when i worked in that area
2:05:22 PM BuCkSaTaN: Amongst the debris
2:05:35 PM Gary: the sandwiches were huge and stuffed with meat
2:05:36 PM BuCkSaTaN: Lemme sift through the mound of peppers and onions…. vomit
2:05:48 PM BuCkSaTaN: nope… nothing there
2:05:54 PM Gary: you’d get like 3 huge peices of veal on there
2:06:06 PM Gary: guess those where the good old days
2:06:15 PM Gary: that’s a shame
2:06:26 PM BuCkSaTaN: I’ll try them one more time… and say, listen asshole… I want… one piece of veal… a bun, some tomato and mayo… because apparently you have no idea how to make sauce.
2:06:48 PM Gary: happens when places get to making alot of money, then the quality drops
2:06:51 PM Gary: haha
2:06:52 PM BuCkSaTaN: bah
2:07:17 PM Gary: i remember it different and it wasn’t heavy sauced either.
2:07:18 PM BuCkSaTaN: I can make my own sandwiches and actually enjoy them without eating through a mountain of eggplant to find the meat.
2:07:27 PM Gary: gross
2:07:29 PM Gary: haha
2:07:33 PM BuCkSaTaN: This shit can stand on it’s own if they dumped it out of the pot.
2:07:44 PM Gary: i’d always get the chicken parm or veal parm and have to ask for extra sauce
2:07:51 PM BuCkSaTaN: It’s like dude… THICK sauce isn’t good. It’s like drinking a glass of congealed tomato juice.
2:08:03 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: Learn how to use oil you pinheads
2:08:12 PM BuCkSaTaN: Not water
2:08:15 PM BuCkSaTaN: cheap bastards
2:08:21 PM Gary: sounds gross now
2:08:39 PM BuCkSaTaN: They’re a disgrace to the Italian community.
2:08:40 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:08:48 PM Gary: hahaha
2:08:52 PM Gary: sheesh dude
2:09:00 PM Gary: it can’t have gone down hill that badly
2:09:05 PM BuCkSaTaN: a fuckin’ disgrace
2:09:07 PM Gary: haha
2:09:09 PM BuCkSaTaN: That’s all I’m gonna say
2:09:11 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha
2:09:24 PM BuCkSaTaN: To me, it’s like your new york experience
2:09:54 PM Gary: sweet veal
2:10:06 PM BuCkSaTaN: haha well, that makes sense to me tho…
2:10:45 PM Gary: well how about i get you a sweet coffee buddy
2:10:54 PM Gary: oh what?!? you wanted sugar?!?
2:11:15 PM Gary: we call that a sweet sugar coffee
2:11:32 PM BuCkSaTaN: There’s only two types of veal sang-weeges man… a “sweet” or (normal) veal and a hot veal..
2:11:33 PM Gary: we changed the meaning of sweet. it now means, plain with nothing on it
2:11:38 PM BuCkSaTaN: hahaha
2:11:52 PM Gary: sorry for the confusion