Rogers Wants to Fuck YOU.

I recently purchased a Blackberry Bold from Rogers – an upgrde to my currently existing plan. As well, I ordered their service for “Talkspot” – a wireless router that allows you the convenience of unlimited long distance from home over Wi-Fi for $20 a month. Pitched at the college crowd, this seemed the perfect solution, since I tried to get their home phone set up to no avail. (They took the order but the service just never materialized.) I told them to not bother. I purchased a Skype account for $35 USD a YEAR and although dropped calls and the Blackberry software I had to also purchase for $50 USD are far from perfect, it’s an annoyance I am willing to endure over this behemoths’ unbelievably poor service and outrageous expense.

This would be all well and fine, until I received my bill for this upgrade – charging me over SEVEN HUNDRED dollars for the Blackberry unit. They also felt it necessary to charge me TWICE for the router – which, two months later, still hasn’t arrived. I don’t know how many of you has opened a phone bill for over a thousand dollars, but let’s just say, the floor dropped out from underneath me and I hit the fucking roof.

Being a long-time customer of Rogers since 1993, I stupidly assume that they would want to keep my continued business (and will of course, for the next three years, since they’ve received their pound of flesh in the form of their insidious contract) by offering somewhat of an incentive other than their little “clubs” and “discounts” with the laughable label of “V.I.P.“.

Well folks, it doesn’t end there. As Christmas is soon to arrive, every whore of a corporation will be rolling out their Christmas campaigns, to net the hapless masses who have yet to sell their souls to one brand or another. To add insult to injury, Rogers is now offering (a mere two months after the release of the Bold) an incentive to NEW customers to sign in blood for three years and only pay TWO HUNDRED dollars for the Blackberry Bold.

On the subject of service, these bastards have set up a human chess machine behind their long-winded sales tactics and hieroglyphic mobile plans. Scream all you like, but as a numbered consumer you have access to no one above a high-school or college-aged CSR. This (brilliant, I must admit), albeit half-assy trained line of defense, wears down the diligent consumer, once they’ve dug their heels in and invested hours on the phone explaining to human and robot alike their woes and leaves them to either buy out their contract, cancel services that never arrive or wearily fork over the money before the power-off switch is thrown.

1984, Brazil and various other red-tape infested visions come to mind. These nefarious corporate greed-heads must be stopped. I almost pray for a depression.

Yes, I have been fucked. Yes, my anus is stinging and yes, I will be extremely wary next time around.