We’re All Going To Die!

Lately, I’ve been noticing that I cannot ingest anything through any orifice without someone mentioning how poisonous it is for me. Smoking is an obvious danger of course, but these days, with access to so much information it seems like a lethal danger rears its’ ugly head every day.

Bottled water contains fecal residue, the plastic bottles they come in are chemically hazardous, the air is full of deadly emissions, the sun causes skin cancer, packaged food is full of carcinogens that will rot your organs, beer and wine will shrink your brain – popping your blood vessels like so many nodules on bubble wrap – which, of course, is also bad for you. Bleached wheat will clog your arteries, potatoes are nothing but giant carbohydrate balls of sugar, Meat from animals is inhumane and full of life -threatening hormones that will mutate your children and turn them into the walking dead, shunned by society, a burden on our already tenuous health-care system.

It’s insane to me that the world is designed in a way that everything that is delicious and decadent will kill you that everything good for you is more expensive than things that will destroy your body.

Well, riddle me this Batman… why is it that the average lifespan of a nut and berry, veggie eating, free-rage animal digesting human in 1840 was barely 45? Weather conditions? Poor posture? Smoking cheroots? It certainly wasn’t man-made chemicals designed to preserve food or carcinogens from car exhaust.

What is a “good” life and how long does one expect to live anyway? And if it’s a “quality of life” issue, why would I want to stop enjoying things that are “bad” for me so that I can prolong a dull and zest-less life, sitting on a park bench and munching on a carrot stick like some bug-eyed rabbit – twitching away in fear of the next silent killer?

Oddly enough, the good news is that we’re not dropping off like flies due to this self-inflicted minefield of poison. I’ll leave you with this article on lifespan and longevity while I go get a pemeal bacon and egg sandwhich with cheap “American” cheese and slathered in hot sauce with a coffee to wash it down.

Link to article.