1:02:38 PM BuCkSaTaN: “…really clean looking but still warm and festive if that makes sense.” That’s their “direction”.
1:03:33 PM BuCkSaTaN: Good christ… I mean honestly… what do people think we’re going to do? Go immediately for a DIRTY look?
1:03:34 PM Gjuddy McMudd: For this design we would like to kept it really clean and glossy – maybe use some cool blues, rich reds and silvers – really clean looking but still warm and festive if that makes sense.
1:04:07 PM BuCkSaTaN: The irony is they actually think they’re being helpful with their comments.
1:04:52 PM Gjuddy McMudd: I know…I had my grunge brushes all set to go…the theme of this newsletter was gonna be bloodstained carnage.
1:05:00 PM BuCkSaTaN: hahaha
1:05:36 PM BuCkSaTaN: Just make it sexy would you, please? …and add a pinch of pizzazz to give it some panache ok? But clean.

Lately, I’ve been noticing that I cannot ingest anything through any orifice without someone mentioning how poisonous it is for me. Smoking is an obvious danger of course, but these days, with access to so much information it seems like a lethal danger rears its’ ugly head every day.

Bottled water contains fecal residue, the plastic bottles they come in are chemically hazardous, the air is full of deadly emissions, the sun causes skin cancer, packaged food is full of carcinogens that will rot your organs, beer and wine will shrink your brain - popping your blood vessels like so many nodules on bubble wrap - which, of course, is also bad for you. Bleached wheat will clog your arteries, potatoes are nothing but giant carbohydrate balls of sugar, Meat from animals is inhumane and full of life -threatening hormones that will mutate your children and turn them into the walking dead, shunned by society, a burden on our already tenuous health-care system.

It’s insane to me that the world is designed in a way that everything that is delicious and decadent will kill you that everything good for you is more expensive than things that will destroy your body.

Well, riddle me this Batman… why is it that the average lifespan of a nut and berry, veggie eating, free-rage animal digesting human in 1840 was barely 45? Weather conditions? Poor posture? Smoking cheroots? It certainly wasn’t man-made chemicals designed to preserve food or carcinogens from car exhaust.

What is a “good” life and how long does one expect to live anyway? And if it’s a “quality of life” issue, why would I want to stop enjoying things that are “bad” for me so that I can prolong a dull and zest-less life, sitting on a park bench and munching on a carrot stick like some bug-eyed rabbit - twitching away in fear of the next silent killer?

Oddly enough, the good news is that we’re not dropping off like flies due to this self-inflicted minefield of poison. I’ll leave you with this article on lifespan and longevity while I go get a pemeal bacon and egg sandwhich with cheap “American” cheese and slathered in hot sauce with a coffee to wash it down.

Link to article.

Gary Gnu: Hey, i just had a discussion with a friend about something that is eerie…
Gary Gnu: What would happen in the usa if Obama got elected as president and then was assassinated?
BuCkSaTaN: There would be a black uprising just like Charles Manson predicted through the lyrics of the Beatles.
Gary Gnu: haha
Gary Gnu: who knows
BuCkSaTaN: White men would become a race of slaves and the world would slide into armageddon.
Gary Gnu: hahaha
BuCkSaTaN: There would be riots and death and raping and pillaging. The world would slide into a living hell.
BuCkSaTaN: The fires from the riots would eventually consume the earth, burning up every last man, woman and child.
BuCkSaTaN: The explosions would be heard out in space and the earth would crumble into charred cinder of nothingness.
BuCkSaTaN: All life would end on this planet for eternity.
BuCkSaTaN: Or not. I dunno.
Gary Gnu: HAHAHA
Gary Gnu: you’re such a cool retarded hippy
BuCkSaTaN: I hope Obama doesn’t get assassinated.

11:00:07 AM Gjuddy McMudd: “I’ve got a project for you that I’m hoping you can turn around quickly.” Why does every email have to start off like that?
11:00:20 AM BuCkSaTaN: haha
11:00:35 AM Gjuddy McMudd: It’s almost like spam.
11:00:35 AM BuCkSaTaN: Because everyone thinks the internet is INSTANTANEOUS!
11:00:53 AM Gjuddy McMudd: “I’ve got a project for you that I’m hoping you can turn around quickly…and it involves sperm showers…”
11:01:23 AM BuCkSaTaN: Well that’s when you say, “Well, by golly, I can do that - but the cost involved is quite high for a turnaround of that speed.”
11:01:41 AM Gjuddy McMudd: Right.
11:01:41 AM BuCkSaTaN: Or “My calendar is completely full, but I can get to that [date]“.
11:02:03 AM Gjuddy McMudd: …or, i can go have a dump…
11:02:18 AM Gjuddy McMudd: …and pretend I won the lottery and this is all a bad dream…
11:02:25 AM BuCkSaTaN: haha

11:52:09 AM BuCkSaTaN: Myspace still doesn’t have a blackberry app? What losers
11:52:26 AM Gary Gnu: yeah they do
11:52:26 AM Gary Gnu: i saw it the other day
11:52:45 AM BuCkSaTaN: I just went to their site, it said sign up to get updates on it coming…
11:53:08 AM Gary Gnu: http://www.myspace.com/blackberry/
11:53:09 AM Gary Gnu: oh
11:53:09 AM Gary Gnu: it’s coming haha
11:53:09 AM Gary Gnu: it’s not ready yet haha
11:53:18 AM BuCkSaTaN: HA HA
11:53:20 AM BuCkSaTaN: LOSER
11:53:37 AM BuCkSaTaN: I love it when you’re wrong. It’s one of life’s great joys.
11:53:59 AM Gary Gnu: eat my pickled shit logs

Anybody know how to get that wrectched chemical butter smell out of your microwave?

No, I’m not braiding a noose as I type. This is merely to highlight some albums, that while definitely not overflowing with toe-tapping ditties, they are deep, dark and yep, pretty damn depressing.

1. White Chalk - PJ Harvey
PJ Harvey is one of my favorite musicians - and with this, her ninth album, she’s taken a sparse, softer approach with the majority of the tunes, dominated by her lovely voice and piano. In the process, she makes you want to curl up into a fetal ball and weep.

2. Knives Don’t Have Your Back - Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton
Emily Haines from Metric’s first solo outing is brilliant, regardless of the initial difficult listen. Once you’ve delved into this one, jumping in front of the subway will seem like a walk in the park.

3. OK Computer - Radiohead
Good ol’ Radiohead can always be counted on for music that is not only well written and at times completely bizarre, but with Thom Yorke’s mournful voice, you’ll be sliding into the bathtub and slashing at your wrists with a straight razor in no time.

4. The Campfire Headphase - Boards of Canada
I used to like this disc until I began having sobbing jags and lingering at the rifle section of the local department store. Maybe it was that one relationships I’ve never been able to shake. Regardless, this collection of brooding, plodding electro-dirge is guaranteed to have you jumping out of a 15th floor high rise before the final chords reverberate in your ear canal.

5. The Wall - Pink Floyd
If I have to sit through this best selling album, by British art rockers Pink Floyd, ever again, I will jump into a pit of starving rottweilers. I mean is there anything more depressing than a mentally disturbed child becoming a rock star, then completely sliding into boredom, depression and finally psychosis over his fame and fortune? Right. Bloody well right.