joeblog

Arctic Monkeys
Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not

Well. What can I say. Gjuddy’s first entry is somewhat surprising as I was expecting something along the lines of Cinderella. While I laud his first choice, I can’t really say it’s my cup of tea. Right off the bat, I’m reminded of The White Stripes, really really drunk with more instruments. Then hackneyed UK riffs, licks and repetitiveness sinks in.

It’s tiring to me that a lot of UK bands seem to have nothing more daring to provide us with musically than mimicking the Beatles as a template for their pop-ish, foppish, mop-topish pop dribblings. Structure, effects and a panorama of things I’ve heard from the sixties litter the tunes here. Add a little touch of Blur without the creative, avant garde meanderings, toss in a few hundred pints of guinness and set this drunken “poet” loose on the mic and you’ll get a little bit of an idea of what I thought of this disk. Look! The guy thinks it’s cool to smoke on the cover of the album! He must be a real tough guy.

Overall given the frenetic, yet limp garage-band punk-eque pounding beats of bands like that previously mentioned black and red band over the past 6 years, I’m kinda bored with this type of music. Then again, considering most of the world’s teeny-boppers are still listening to hip-hop, this could be considered refreshing to the untrained pre-pubescent ear.

I do have to admit, I found myself bopping my head frenetically against my will. While listening at work, I was compelled to do the “Swim” and the “Mashed Potato”. I stopped short of “The Worm” as I found myself getting a nauseous headache. By the end of the disk, I wished I had 16 pints of dark ale and a few packs of smokes into me. Same result listening to this heinousness , I say.

Final observation? BAH!

(4:36:50 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Pan’s Labyrinth – heard of it?
(4:38:56 PM) bad unkle v2.0: happy feet
(4:39:01 PM) bad unkle v2.0: now theres a movie
(4:39:08 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Really?
(4:39:21 PM) bad unkle v2.0: yeah totally go see that
(4:39:29 PM) bad unkle v2.0: compelling and rich
(4:40:08 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I just looked it up. FAK OFF
(4:40:19 PM) bad unkle v2.0: happy feet.. makes you think
(4:40:57 PM) BuCkSaTaN: sighhh
(4:41:02 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I hope you’re kidding.
(4:41:36 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Although, it is directed by George Miller. (Who apparently has no more Mad Max movies in him.)
(4:41:49 PM) bad unkle v2.0: No man.. happy feet..
(4:41:59 PM) bad unkle v2.0: says what we all have been thinking
(4:43:06 PM) BuCkSaTaN: And what might that be?
(4:44:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: just see it.. and bring a date
(4:44:12 PM) BuCkSaTaN: We’re all monkeys?
(4:44:14 PM) bad unkle v2.0: happy feet
(4:44:27 PM) bad unkle v2.0: theres no monkeys in antartica
(4:45:24 PM) bad unkle v2.0: happy feet.. say it with me
(4:45:24 PM) BuCkSaTaN: hoo boy
(4:45:28 PM) bad unkle v2.0: happy feet
(4:45:31 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Happy… fuck THAT.
(4:45:37 PM) bad unkle v2.0: cmon joe
(4:45:46 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Youre just not ready..
(4:45:49 PM) bad unkle v2.0: someday
(4:45:59 PM) bad unkle v2.0: nothing to be ashamed of
(4:46:06 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Ready for what? To be brainwashed by some fuckin’ animated tripe?
(4:46:10 PM) BuCkSaTaN: bah
(4:46:15 PM) bad unkle v2.0: I was once like you
(4:46:21 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Actually, I enjoyed The Incredibles.
(4:46:27 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Happy Feet
(4:46:40 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Dont you see?
(4:46:42 PM) BuCkSaTaN: There is no way I am watching Happy Feet.
(4:46:59 PM) bad unkle v2.0: We’ll be waiting for you
(4:47:03 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Happy Feet
(4:47:13 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Okay, I’ll do this much. I’ll watch the trailer. One sec.
(4:47:20 PM) bad unkle v2.0: no dont do that
(4:47:23 PM) bad unkle v2.0: DONT
(4:47:27 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Just go
(4:47:41 PM) bad unkle v2.0: say it “Two for happy feet please”
(4:47:47 PM) bad unkle v2.0: feels better just saying it
(4:47:50 PM) BuCkSaTaN: watching now
(4:47:55 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Happy Feet
(4:48:07 PM) bad unkle v2.0: The trailer wont explain whats really going on
(4:48:23 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Jesus christ…
(4:48:33 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I can’t even watch the whole trailer…
(4:48:43 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Youre not ready
(4:48:44 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Idiotic!
(4:49:06 PM) BuCkSaTaN: After about 30 seconds I just wanted someone to shoot me in the face with a high powered rifle!
(4:49:40 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Hmm. Maybe the second trailer is better.
(4:49:46 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Let’s try that.

[BuCkSaTaN: watches second trailer]

(4:51:18 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Oh christ. It’s even worse! Robin Williams singing “My Way” in another language. I’m going to shoot a penguin on my blog in protest.
(4:51:33 PM) bad unkle v2.0: give in to it man
(4:51:38 PM) bad unkle v2.0: let yourself go..
(4:51:41 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Happy Feet
(4:51:53 PM) bad unkle v2.0: Youll come around
(4:52:00 PM) bad unkle v2.0: feel the pull?
(4:52:00 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I highly doubt it.
(4:52:40 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Singing animals. I’ve had it.
(4:53:29 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I am so pissed off right now after watching that I can hardly see.

(1:41:38 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Stand out front and shout into the street: “STEP RIGHT UP! CHRISTMAS SALE!”
(1:41:48 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: ah huh
(1:42:12 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: all that would attract is the neighbourhood whore and her soggy looking pimp…
(1:42:23 PM) BuCkSaTaN: NIIIIIICE.
(1:42:26 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: ya.
(1:42:31 PM) BuCkSaTaN: There are no whores… or soggy pimps..
(1:42:36 PM) BuCkSaTaN: get out…
(1:42:40 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: He rides a bicycle…
(1:43:06 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: …and she looks like an extra from pink flamingos
(1:43:43 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: Everytime I see her I wanna give her an egg.
(1:44:18 PM) BuCkSaTaN: haha – my god…
(1:44:26 PM) BuCkSaTaN: How do you know she’s a whore?
(1:44:33 PM) BuCkSaTaN: And they’re not just cuddle buddies…
(1:44:48 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: everyone knows.
(1:45:12 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Everyone who gets too drunk at the Kiwi and needs some love on the way home…
(1:45:28 PM) BuCkSaTaN: If she looks like Edith Massey she can’t be very popular.
(1:45:34 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: You should have seen the time last summer when this drunk guy, who had apparently just paid for some of her time and wanted to kiss her.
(1:45:48 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: It was not pretty.
(1:45:51 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Good lord. Nice downtown on you…
(1:46:00 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: Well, she’s the holdout.
(1:46:11 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: All the rest left when they closed the Royal.
(1:47:05 PM) BuCkSaTaN: The Royal?
(1:47:12 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: This old Hotel… just around the corner.
(1:47:31 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Christ. Like an old veteran with no war to attend.
(1:47:36 PM) gjuddy mcmudd: ya

News Article on George Clooney’s Pig.

(2:17:26 PM) BuCkSaTaN: It’s so terrible! My life’s tragedies are nothing compared to George’s.
(2:19:45 PM) bad unkle v2.0: sad news about the pig
(2:24:37 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Sad?! I didn’t cry as much when my father passed away!
(2:25:44 PM) bad unkle v2.0: clooney is a good man. im sure his pig was pure hearted as well
(2:25:53 PM) BuCkSaTaN: FUCK HIM
(2:26:11 PM) bad unkle v2.0: oh joe.. i think your angst is forced
(2:26:23 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Oh I assure you, it’s not.
(2:28:19 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I don’t understand why “eccentric” movie celebrities feel the need to have FOOD as pets.
(2:28:22 PM) BuCkSaTaN: assholes…
(2:31:17 PM) BuCkSaTaN: I think I’ll get myself a chicken for a pet.
(2:31:33 PM) BuCkSaTaN: And just let it roam around my apartment shitting on everything.
(2:33:36 PM) BuCkSaTaN: Or how about a fish tank full of lobster and shrimp. As pets.

copyright 2004 by Beth Shandles: link to article

Cool link for anyone who ever wondered which films Skinny Puppy sampled from:

Amazon list link one

Amazon list link two

I am going to cancel my cable. What you see above is an unaltered photo from the god-awful Z-Grade film “Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain“, starring Richard Grieco and a series of porn starlets including Jenna Jameson, Chasey Lain, Ginger Lynn Allen and Taylor Hayes. I’m not here to discuss the merits of this film. I’m here to have my final word on my cable provider Rogers here in Canada and why I am tired of paying this company over 120 dollars a month for “superior picture and sound” digital cable. The fact that I’ve swallowed this bullshit for years now just makes my head want to explode.

The image above takes place at the beginning of the film in the woods. It’s night. The photo is of Chasey Lain (although you’d never know it) from the inside of a tent after hearing a noise outside. Granted, the opening scene to this film is extremely dark (see image below) but this is not the way the film should look, nor is this an isolated incident. There have been many times I’ve paid five to seven dollars to see the same kind of shit happen to the video on demand films (case in point, the new Harry Potter film was so fucking dark I gave up and shut it off).

I’ve checked all the settings on my Sony Trinitron, so it has nothing to do with the monitor.

If this is the kind of quality that Rogers expects me to take after shilling out crazed amounts of money for their service, then harassing me over my answering machine daily when I’m a week late with the payment, they’ve got another thing coming. As soon as I pay this month’s bill, I’m sticking to DVD from now on.