Ed Wood is lauded as the world’s worst film director but there’s an inept charm to his work. He had a tenacity and pluck, refusing to give up his offbeat visions of transvestitism, rubber monsters and spacemen. The idea of “so bad it’s good” is synonymous with an Ed Wood production. His films had no production value whatsoever, but the spirit of optimism and good-natured love of film was alive in his poorly written and executed roster.

Nay, I speak of a different breed of awful here. Films that represent nothing but soulless greed and reprehensive nihilism. Projects that masquerade as social commentary, slip into theatres under the guise of entertainment and have nothing to offer in the way of provocative thought. These directors design crass, pointless vehicles for no other reason than to line their pockets enough to embark on their next vapid project. Take a look at the careers of these hacks and note the pattern in their directorial list. Comedies, remakes and sequels litter their resumés. Nothing they’ve made jumps above a six on the imdb.com voting scale. Not only does their work stink like a dead, bloated mouse on a blistering day, their public personas are equally offensive.

I boycott their work and hope that they soon fall by the wayside, having no choice but to get a job in a field they’re more suited, fading away from the realm of the artistic expression and the craft of communicating an idea to a mass audience. I’ve put these directors into no particular order as I find one no better or worse than the other. I refuse to comment on their bodies of work individually, as their C.V’s speak for themselves.

To be fucking continued…

Eli Roth
Stephen Sommers
Brett Ratner