Well Folks, this should be listed in “Flotsam and Jetsam”, but it’s a “Top Ten” if there ever was one… So, I now present you with my own Top Ten signature files:

1. Bizarro Superman:
“Listen buddy pals! Me got great idea! Legion of Superheroes solve emergencies with super powers! Them crazy nuts should be creating emergencies, not fixing ‘em!”

2. Bruce Campbell:
“Elvis has left my building.”

3. Buddy Ackerman:
“Life is not a movie. Good guys lose, everybody lies, and love…does not conquer all.”

4. Zander Harris:
“Respect the Crueller. Tame the donut!”

5. Chuck Barris:
“I came up with a new game-show idea recently. It’s called The Old Game. You got three old guys with loaded guns onstage. They look back at their lives, see who they were, what they accomplished, how close they came to realizing their dreams. The winner is the one who doesn’t blow his brains out. He wins a refrigerator.”

6. Salvador Dali:
“I don’t do drugs. I am drugs.”

7. Brian DePalma:
“They said it would help promotion, presenting the film in a different way, but Giorgio (Moroder)’s music was true to the period, I argued — and no one changes the scores on movies by Marty Scorsese, John Ford, David Lean. If this is the `masterpiece’ you say, leave it alone. I fought them tooth and nail and was the odd man out, not an unusual place for me. I have final cut, so that stopped them dead.”

- on why he would not add rap songs to the soundtrack to “Scarface”. Thank Christ! - ed.

8. H.P. Lovecraft:
“We live on a placid sea of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.”

9. Karl Shapiro
“I am influenced enough by Miller to tell my students , the poets at least, to cultivate an ignorance of contemporary politics and military events because they do not matter. I tell them not to vote, to join nothing.”

regarding several literary influences, including Henry Miller

10. Joss Whedon:
“But nowadays I’m really cranky about comics. Because most of them are just really, really poorly written soft-core. And I miss good old storytelling. And you know what else I miss? Super powers. Why is it now that everybody’s like “I can reverse the polarity of your ions!” Like in one big flash everybody’s Doctor Strange. I like the guys that can stick to walls and change into sand and stuff. I don’t understand anything anymore. And all the girls are wearing nothing, and they all look like they have implants. Well, I sound like a very old man, and a cranky one, but it’s true.”

So I’m sitting in the local pub, trying to avoid what I’ve dubbed “Saw Fest ‘05″ - all four sides of my apartment polluted with the grating whine of the Sunday 9-5er’s power tools as they fix up their $300,000 Toronto dumps. I usually have a bite during this exodus and read NOW [A local Toronto free paper].

This article kind of annoyed me with it’s soap-box free-speech rant. In particular the second line after a pointed reference to a Simpsons episode of all things;

“Every ass with a computer thinks his blog or cyberspace rambling warrants public attention.”

I’m a little fatigued that techno-geeks who think that the internet was “theirs” to begin with and now that it’s over-run by “asses“; no longer the merry little wank-ground for their own personal circle-jerk. Blogs by their very nature, are public. Whether they warrant attention or not, is immaterial. The problem is that the media [I know, I know... ] feels that because of a few news-related or journalistic blogs by writers of note, the blog becomes perceived as some kind of important social forum. That blogs even need to have any social merit, is completely ludicrous to me. They can, but don’t necessarily have to.

Let’s just pull some definitions of what a blog really is from the web shall we? [from Google].

“a public web site where users post informal journals of their thoughts, comments, and philosophies, updated frequently and normally reflecting the views of the blog’s creator.”

“An online journal or diary that is frequently updated…”

Nowhere can I find a definition for “blog” or “weblog” that requires the “blogger” to use his forum for anything more than a space for personal expression.

From the article:

“We are in the throes of a revolutionary change in mass communications, and it will take some time to purify the medium.”

Bold statement! Who is this writer? Cyber-Hitler? Purify the medium? This sounds like the type of elitist nonsense that would come from some snot-nosed hacker crying about the injustices of his beloved internet from the cozy confines of his mother’s basement.

The rest of this article is hung on some bomb-making scam and really has nothing to do with blogs at all. It has more to do with spam and the Supreme Court’s ruling over some greedy pinhead selling the secrets of destruction to the rest of the swinish multitude. Hey, the internet was built by greedy pinheads selling destructive bullshit to the public! Ever hear of cigarettes? McDonalds? Porn? Welcome to Capitalism.

I know this is supposed to be a pro-free speech article, but I couldn’t tell if the article was really pro-free speech or was about wiping out anyone with a keyboard that didn’t use it for it’s “intended” purpose. Whatever that is…

Anyway, I’ve wasted enough of my night with this entry.

In conclusion, I don’t really care who reads this blog. I use it simply to puke up shit I despise, post things I find humorous or try to make my friends laugh.

By the way, I have the shits from the burger I ate. I’ve had a couple of drinks and I’m listening to Nick Cave. The United States sucks! In fact, so does Canada! Let’s all live in Europe! They get tits in the Sun and smoke dope in coffee houses! Life is unfair! I just used this rant to post a narcissistic picture of myself! Fuck you all! This is my blog!

If you want to call me an “ass” for it, it wouldn’t be the first time.

9AM:

Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” plays in the kitchen as I step out of the shower on the way to my desk.

My goal this morning? To find a high resolution image of a banana. That’s right folks. A banana. Why? Apparently the MPAA says that you can’t point a gun at someone in a movie poster. [Even though it's okay to chop their head off and rape their wife, once you're in the theatre. Oh those crazy repressive Americans...] I have been instructed to replace said character’s gun with a banana.

I’ve backed up these huge high resolution posters to a wonderfully idiotic (and now defunct, I hope) media called DVD-RAM. This type of fucking disk has been the bane of my existence for quite sometime now with it’s unexpected fuck-ups (usually at the worst possible time) and it’s extraordinarily poor performance. (The sales dude, years ago, said you could edit video directly from them. HA!)

Thinking all would be safe with the posters I had backed up on these shit-disks, I’m thinking I’ll just make a real DVD backup of everything and get to work. Well, as you can already surmise, one of the disks worked; the other two, I had to crack open with a butter knife and spit upon, with great vengeance and furrrrrious anger…

This is the last time I backup for clients on this whore of a disk media.

As I have always suspected, computers make life neither easier nor more efficient, but they will, indeed, be the death of us all.

I haven’t been a Metallica fan for some time (or a Beatles fan for even longer, as a matter of fact), but this site put a smile on my face regardless of my current proclivity for tunes.

With tune titles like “Sgt. Hetfield’s Motorbreath pub band” and “Blackened in the U.S.S.R.” you could either label this parody fusion band hilarious or a horrifying travesty. Your call.

Why it even has the Lars Ulrich seal of approval!

Here’s the original Boing Boing article that led me to the site.

gjuddy mcmudd
10:18:42AM
http://www.techtree.com/techtree/jsp/article.jsp?article_id=5265&cat_id=581″:http://www.techtree.com/techtree/jsp/article.jsp?article_id=5265&cat_id=581

BuCkSaTaN™
10:19:15AM
Yeah saw that on Apple’s site… whatever…

gjuddy mcmudd
10:19:53AM
It’s like they’ve never heard of Logitech…
…hey! lets put a scroller on our mouse…that’ll really show ‘em!

I think Jane Meikle is tops. She’s the nerdy niece of Elvira with multiple personality disorder. Since “Scream Channel”:http://www.screamtelevision.ca is one of my favorites, I do enjoy Jane’s opening monologues to introduce the films. The feel of these bits are a little Hilarious House of Frightenstein, a little late-night horror host.

My favorite character is her little British brat, “Nancy”. Her demented glee once annoyed me, but now it’s like sitting down with an old pal to watch some crazy horror flicks. I don’t know how long she’ll stay on as Scream’s hostess, as they now have some other chick hosting intermittently.

For now, we can enjoy her myriad of wacky characters.

From Scream: Jane holds a Bachelor of Arts in Women’s Studies and English literature from McGill University in Montreal. She currently produces and directs her own short film projects, and is pursuing her acting career in Toronto.

Once the Panda and the Amazon River Dolphin dies out, we’ll always have these nifty paper sculptures from Yamaha Motor Company! Don’t know exactly why they excite me, but you’ll find them “here”:http://www.yamaha-motor.co.jp/global/entertainment/papercraft/index.html. Downloadable, and free! Spend hours of frustrating cutting and folding to have them look nothing like the image you see above.