Dear “Toronto Star“,

Stop calling my fucking cell phone and offering me a subscription to your newspaper. I don’t know how you got the number, but I get at least one phone call a week from some shlub in your subscription office.

I do not read your newspaper.
I do not want a subscription to your newspaper.

Get me off your phone list or I shall mount a retaliation campaign to call your newspaper every day and harrass you with my web services until you do.

Sincerely,

Joe Deagnon
joeblog

BuCkSaTaN™ [5:30 PM]:
My Mail is acting fucking bizarre.

“The message from “Jen Valie” concerning “Take me to your cum eating leader” has not been downloaded from the server. You need to take this account online in order to download it.”
GjuddyMcMudd [5:30 PM]:
noce
BuCkSaTaN™ [5:31 PM]:
brb man… gotta hit the store.
GjuddyMcMudd [5:31 PM]:
OK
GjuddyMcMudd [6:01 PM]:
no fed ex! …unbelievable
GjuddyMcMudd [6:01 PM]:
it’s on the truck an hour past the cutoff time
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:03 PM]:
Christ
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:03 PM]:
How do you know it’s on the truck?
GjuddyMcMudd [6:03 PM]:
I have the tracking number
GjuddyMcMudd [6:03 PM]:
they have never been late though
GjuddyMcMudd [6:03 PM]:
ever
GjuddyMcMudd [6:03 PM]:
I’m losing it
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:04 PM]:
ooooh boyyyy
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:04 PM]:
Torture.
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:04 PM]:
It’ll be there. Why don’t you call?
GjuddyMcMudd [6:04 PM]:
titally
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:05 PM]:
My thinking is that you should get your “I” and “o” keys replaced.
GjuddyMcMudd [6:06 PM]:
naw
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:06 PM]:
ir nit… ot’s really up ti yiu.
GjuddyMcMudd [6:06 PM]:
ih yiur a card alroght
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:07 PM]:
Ni skon iff my ass!
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:07 PM]:
My problem always comes with the apostrophe and the semi-colon key’s…
GjuddyMcMudd [6:07 PM]:
ik
GjuddyMcMudd [6:07 PM]:
ya me too
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:08 PM]:
Nice fucking tiny keyboards!
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:08 PM]:
brb
GjuddyMcMudd [6:23 PM]:
well, I give up
GjuddyMcMudd [6:23 PM]:
totally give up
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:30 PM]:
You give up?
BuCkSaTaN™ [6:30 PM]:
Did you call them?
GjuddyMcMudd [6:54 PM]:
call them? fuck them
GjuddyMcMudd [6:54 PM]:
they can burn in hell
GjuddyMcMudd [6:54 PM]:
I denounce the entire monetary system
GjuddyMcMudd [6:55 PM]:
every fucking day worrying about money

Well, here’s an article in a local free paper that looks like the weekly world news and yet, has content in it that smacks of truth. This concerns past blog entries regarding “Billy Van and the Hilarious House of Frightenstein”:http://www.paranoidcomix.com/joeblog/index.php?s=frightenstein&submit=GO …

• “article link”:http://www.freewriters.ca/thespecial/special_billy_van.htm

Ok, apparently these boneheads don’t archive anything properly.
The import of the article concerned the outrage that Billy Van still hasn’t got a star on the Canadian Walk of Fame.

Well, he finally “did”:http://www.cbc.ca/arts/walkoffame/billyvan.html. (Although the Canadian Walk of Fame website has refused to update to reflect this…)

Well, I just saw the theatre trailer for “Serenity”:http://www.serenitymovie.com/ - the film based on the “cult” television series by Joss “Everytime I make something cool, tee vee executives stomp all over it” Whedon. It played before “Batman Begins” (which, considering I thought it would be a complete piece of shit, was really quite exciting.) The Serenity trailer, here in Toronto, is exactly the same as the online version, although seeing it on the big screen was nice. The only complaint I had is that the boobs at the theatre had the volume hella-low. Oh well.

Serenity is coming out in September. I won’t be standing in line like some Star Wars geek, but you can bet I am not missing a flick I feel will be better than any of the other science-fiction offerings over the last decade.

This movie. Will. Kick. Ass.

Good Christ. I think the image says it all. This poor beast resembles some kind of special effects nightmare out of an early Peter Jackson zombie film. If it bit you, they’d have to hack your head off with a chainsaw.

See the rest of this hideous mutt “here”:http://samugliestdog.com/index.html.

One of my nutty friends has decided to make his own “brew” at home. As you can see from the image, I don’t know if it’s ready just yet, although he seems to think that, at 20% alcohol content, it’ll make a fine, heady, man’s drink. I’m a little skeptical.

Other than editorial comments, this episode of MBWG is verbatim. See if you can figure out what Gjuddy is trying to tell me after I merely sent him a link to this blog asking him to check out the posting on “Shitty Album Covers” …

gjuddy mcmudd
11:09:39AM
got sacrificial chickens?

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:09:54AM
what’s dat?

gjuddy mcmudd
11:10:15AM
your first comment

11:10:54AM
Greatest Picks

11:10:58AM
now that’s funny

11:12:38AM
“link gjuddy sent”:http://www.countryworks.com/artist_full.asp?KEY=ORION

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:13:07AM
What in fuck are you talking about?

11:13:45AM
Are you on glue?

gjuddy mcmudd
11:13:45AM
you sent me to your blog and I read the artilcle about the album covers

11:14:00AM
and at the end of the srtile are comments

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:14:01AM
Where does it say sacrifical chickens?

gjuddy mcmudd
11:14:08AM
it’s the first one

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:14:26AM
comments? at the end of the article?

gjuddy mcmudd
11:14:34AM
sigh

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:14:42AM
Well nice fucking english on you!

gjuddy mcmudd
11:14:54AM
“link gjuddy sent”:http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2005/07/worstest_album_3.html

[I finally realize that he's talking about the comments on the article linked from my blog.]

BuCkSaTaN™ >:)
11:16:00AM
Ah…. jesus christ. you could have made that a tad clearer.

gjuddy mcmudd:
11:16:21 AM
seemed pretty clear to me

[I'm still trying to figure out why Gjuddy sent me the Century of Country website...]

POSTSCRIPT

After I got on the phone with Gjuddy, he calmly (although I could sense the anger seething below the surface) explained to me that the country link was for one of the album covers. “Orion”:http://www.countryworks.com/artist_full.asp?KEY=ORION to be exact. And what a bizarre story it is.

Gjuddy was kind of incensed that I even posted this episode of “My Breakfast With Gjuddy”. Now, my good friend Gjuddy isn’t a fan of this segment of my blog, to be sure, although he is a good pal for putting up with it. He could, in retaliation, start his own blog, with a segment called “My Breakfast With Joe”, I suppose.