Computers! The Death of Us All!
Win-blows: OS of the Damned!
I’m not usually one to get into a debate about which OS is better, since I think all computers are demonic utensils designed to drain the life-force from any one who dares to use them, but seriously folks, I can’t take this shit anymore.
Designing sites for some kind of non-existent “standard” that the World Wide Web Consortium tries to put into serious consideration is a fucking joke when it comes to the bullshit I have to deal with testing websites in Microsoft Windows Explorer.
The OS I just happen to design websites on is, you guessed it, shrimp. No, no… I mean Apple Macintosh. Now, I’m not saying that Apple is God’s one and only gift to the digital age and I’m not saying that it’s better or worse than Windows. As I’ve stated above, I could fucking care less what brand name is on these fucking rat-trap zombie machines. I only hope and pray they’ll keep running properly so I can pay my bills. And honestly? Even that’s too much to ask for in this Future-Shock, Nowhere Generation, war-mongering, shit-heel decade.
I do enjoy fucking around with one of these things, but in a “ham radio” kind of way - to rely on computers for a career is a frustrating exercise in self-flagelation. This ennui-inducing, pissant, worker-bee existence is kife and if I was any younger I’d get on a fucking plane and you’d never see me again.
The “Internet Pundits” like to use the child-like metaphors of cars, highways, traffic and various other definitions of (and simulated freedom) to describe the intricacies of something most people will never understand, nor care to. I think we should extend these metaphors to the next level of the physical manifestation of their meanings.
Computers are ephemeral nonsense. What with it’s constant destructive-inducing behavior, myriad of daily breakdowns, scams and spam, it should be outlawed or at the very least, most people should have to take a six week course and garner a “driver’s permit” before they’re even allowed to sit in front of one.
Well aren’t you the ‘fascist totalitarian’ you’re probably muttering to yourselves. Better than being a communist or whacked out religious nut is my answer to you. And then again, any kind of flagrant zealousness is probably not good for anyone except me, so ok, I’m a totalitarian. So sue me.
Which brings me to the worst offender of the heathenous ilk that traverses the net and makes money off “Internet Land”. Microsoft and their horrendous, plagurized, market-saturating, share monopolizing, K-Mart doctrine software, Windows.
I hardly know where to start to begin bashing this OS and it’s moronic logic, setup and execution. Let’s skip the obvious, like it’s as ugly as sin and as clunky as a blindfolded mongoloid. Let’s just get the fact out of the way that all businessmen and pornographers use it. (I’ll exclude filmmakers from this list since they’re all on Macintosh.) And if I must make gross generalizations to alleviate my hatred and frustration for having to even look at a Microsoft product, it’s as cheap and satisfying as a two dollar whore.
Its marketing campaigns are asinine and aimed at dumbo industries that haven’t yet switched over to the “New World Order” and it’s felonious president is Satan himself.
They haven’t broken a single convention or tried to push the envelope since they began.
Which OS is better (Mac or Windows) is an age old battle, not unlike Pepsi and Coke, if Pepsi had 10% of the market share.
Anyone who uses Windows is simply too cheap to buy a worthy computer and it’s accompanying OS or too un-informed to make a decision other than to buy what has a hold on the consumer market’s mind set.
On a simplistic level, this would be exactly the same as a Windows user presenting the argument that McDonalds is better than going and paying for a 40 dollar steak at an fine restaurant. We get what we pay for. If Apple’s OS is the BMW of computers, then Windows is a Ford Focus.
Now, it is EXTREMELY rare that something used by the swinish multitude, is cheap and genius in it’s design. No one has ever paid 40 dollars for a hamburger. (Okay, well, maybe some have, but that would be idiotic, now wouldn’t it?)
Cheapness is not the only fault of Windows. I have used it extensively, unlike the psudeo-computer expert that uses the battle cry of “Mac suuuucks!” But then, they really have no other argument. Not an empirical one anyway.
If you want to talk interface, ergonomics and ease of use, then let’s talk - but for all it’s little stupid little “wizards” (how I despise that word - and how I hate a computer program overtly trying to “help” me), constant security updates and factory presets that are set to do nothing but monopolize my choices, Windows does nothing for me but ask me the simple and nefarious question: “Would I like Fries with That?”
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Now, what started this ill-informed, rage-filled and sloppy rant you may ask?
Oh, something as simple as trying to use HTML tables in a web project.