joeblog

Ya know, I’ve been freaking out on this blog a lot lately, and honestly, I’d like to take a break from the hatred to talk about my friend, “Choco Boy”. I’m not just an acidic, crazed lunatic who flips out about everything that annoys me, no sir! When I’m feelin’ blue, my buddy Choco Boy has the power to lift me right outta ‘dem blues and into a bizarre and creepy landscape of cartoon Korean mushroom-heads who taste as sweet as lady fingers.

I don’t know much about the mystical landscape that Choco Boy hails from, but gosh darn it, I could give a shit. His chocolatey mushroom cap and crunchy torso are all I need to forget the cares of the work-a-day world.

I thought I’d try to find out more about this mysterious Choco Boy, but when I went and Googled “Choco Boy”, I was quite disturbed to find this:

(The “Choco Boy” site has since been destroyed – thank christ. Lucky I saved a screen cap, huh?!)

Now, who in HELL would mislead me in my Choco Boy delirium with this asinine garbage I ask you?! Good Christ! I’m just about to munch into another sweet, chocolatey, crunchy Choco Boy and I’m greeted with a couple of Choco Boys!

Suddenly, I don’t feel so calm anymore!

All I wanted was to just sit around, relax, forget about insane clients, idiotic movies and the fact that Billy Van is dead and then…thinking I’ve found Choco-Boy… I feel the mulched Korean candy drip from my gaping maw…bile soon following in a regurgitative rush!

BAH!! Fuck Choco Boy and fuck happiness! I’m angry again!!

Joeblogs Around the World:

You didn’t think that this was the only joeblog in existence did you? Taking a trip around Google has shown me that just because the name ‘Joe’ is completely average, the varied subject matter of joeblogs is another story:

The criteria I used to gather this ongoing compendium of “joe blogs” was by entering the phrase “joeblog” into the Google search engine. I tried “joe blog” but I got far too many “joe” related hits and far too many “blog” related……..zzzzzzzzzZZ…whatever. Read on.

joeblog
Community, culture and technology.
“http://joefriend.com/blog/”:http://joefriend.com/blog/
Mostly links, since the actual middle content of the site never seems to load. Gosh, I’m so impatient… Next!

joeblog
No amount of drivel too large or too small
“http://home.earthlink.net/~revjwalker/joeblog/”:http://home.earthlink.net/~revjwalker/joeblog/

Hmm. My first solid stop on the joeblog train yields a wee bit of a procrastinator’s blogsite.

joeblog
“http://deekoo.net/technocracy/vortex/nodes/joeblog.html”:http://deekoo.net/technocracy/vortex/nodes/joeblog.html

Second stop. Not much better, but somewhat of a humorous take on the blog. One open line that is editable by anyone with the accompanying phrase “This is not happening, I’m not here..” at the top of the page. Next!

joeblog
“http://www.blogg.org/blog-3039.html”:http://www.blogg.org/blog-3039.html
Tres Bizarre! Two entries in French.
According to the mangled Babelfish translation, this is one depressed and suicidal puppy. Someone call 911! (errr…I mean 112… )

Excerpt (BabelFish translation):

“With what celà is used it to entrust to a species of newspaper “not-close friend”. Perhaps is a this kind of therapy. In short, always it is that today as it is the same a dixaine for days in one year, I am completely depressed. I have the impression to be forgotten of everyone. To count near the others only when they need me. This morning, on the road of work, I wanted serious of suicide. I wanted to plant me in the ditch to finish some with this whore of life!“

InterTran gives us a much more direct translation after ramming the same two French paragraphs down it’s gullet:

“hopeless, nil, non-existent“.

Good Christ. Not a very robust outing this time. Ah well, I’m bored with this shit. I gotta go have a smoke and think about what to do for work tomorrow. I’ll pick this up again when I’ve got nothing better to do…

Jesus. I hope that French person is okay. I should check back on their blog and make sure another, more optimistic, entry in his “whore of a life” goes up.

Well gang, join us again soon for another look at “joeblogs” around the world!

Ta ta!!

Note: All external blog material “reviewed” in this article is copyright their respective owners. “Joeblog” isn’t responsible for the insane shit I’ve linked to from the rest of the internet populous.

I can’t remember if I wrote this in some drunken haze or if someone else jotted it in my sketchbook as I do not recognize the handwriting. If you are the author of this nightmare, drop me a line and let me know.

“Man running frantically through back alleys trying to escape the reality that is crashing down on him as he is progressively seeing more clearly. As he tries to run faster, he slows down; people around him becoming shapes with horrific images of their sin wrapped around them. Buildings revert to their past facades, objects disappear and new ones reappear. The line between past/present, good/evil, night/day blur, melt, destroy and cancel each other.”

Pretty happy stuff, but it went well with the artwork of a demon I was developing, hastily sketched in, beside this passage. I’ll post a more refined version of that drawing when I get some time.