kirbspeak
I have this friend named Kirby.
He’s pretty much got a lingo all his own. There’s no miraculous coinage happening within it, as it’s the subtlety in pitch and delivery of the words that’s important here.
After a while, most people start assimilating his catchy phrases.
Here’s a choice sampling and then you can go look at his minimalist blog by clicking on the quite accurate self-portrait I’ve included here.
“what the”
Ordinarily, I would put a question mark or an ellipsis then a question mark after the “what the”, but I have been sternly warned against doing so by Kirby’s girlfriend. This is a no-no apparently. In any case, “what the” is a reaction to a comment from your foolhardy friend that contains something shocking, embarrassing or just plain stupid.
“whaddayameeean?”
This one is fairly similar to “what the”, but more emphatic. It’s used, more often than not, in a situation where you cannot believe what is unfolding. Let’s say I told Kirby he was going drinking. Then on the heels of this statement, I told him we were going to a bar he reviled. He would say, “whaddyameeean?”. When you say this, it’s important to drag out the “eeean” at varying degrees for added effect, depending on how hellish the situation is.
“lord”, “christ”, “god”, “cripes”
or other semi-expletives of a religious nature.
These are typed in lower-case on messengers online and should be used in the same exasperated, beaten tone when used vocally. Try not to put much effort into their use. They aren’t shouted but more like mutterings under ones breath with a tinge of cynicism for the over-all effect.
“Hey! You’re Famous!”
While out with friends, point at a less fortunate slob than anyone at your table, or some homely lout in the local entertainment rag and direct this masterpiece comment, from childhood, to the one sitting next to you. If using a live shill, it’s key not to let the scapegoat overhear your exclamation as it’s intended victim is the “famous” one you’ve spoken this phrase to.
(When I was younger, I believe the origin of this one stems back to one pointing out a dishevelled bag-lady and exclaiming “Hey! There’s your mom!”, or directing attention to some half-asleep drunk in the gutter and saying “Hey! There’s your dad!”, but being the nice guy good ole’ Kirb is, he’s cleaned it up for modern usage.)
I’ve included this small smattering of “kirbspeak” here on my blog, but due to outside pressure I really cannot reveal any more at this time. You’ll have to go to Kirby’s blog to find out more about this Oiseaux Exotique!
Huzzah!