My Breakfast With Gjuddy : Earl the Cat
Gjuddy has a dilema. His cat “Earl” has gotten out of the house and the neighbours turned the poor bugger over to the pound after he was mutilating their flowers or some shit. Gjuddy went down and fetched him out and is now having second thoughts about it, as he has to keep Earl inside now. Letting him out again would mean a repeat trip to the pound at the hands of his community. I now bring you installment two of “My Breakfast with Gjuddy“, “Earl the Cat“.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:10 AM]:
oh man…my cat just took a big dump in his litter box and i’m gagging down here
GjuddyMcMudd [10:11 AM]:
that cat has got to go
GjuddyMcMudd [10:11 AM]:
geeeez
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:11 AM]:
Sweet
GjuddyMcMudd [10:11 AM]:
I can’t work under these conditions
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:11 AM]:
Why don’t you move the litterbox? Call me crazy…
GjuddyMcMudd [10:12 AM]:
mmm, ya…maybe I’ll put it in my bedroom
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:12 AM]:
There ya go…
GjuddyMcMudd [10:12 AM]:
loo
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:12 AM]:
It IS Sue’s cat…
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:12 AM]:
hahahaha
GjuddyMcMudd [10:12 AM]:
brooootal
GjuddyMcMudd [10:12 AM]:
stinky sick beast
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:12 AM]:
hhahahahaha
GjuddyMcMudd [10:13 AM]:
I think this is the week…time for Earl to sleep the long, final sleep.
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:13 AM]:
Just because he shits? You fucking barbarian…
GjuddyMcMudd [10:13 AM]:
not just that….there’s a whole host of reasons
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:13 AM]:
Heartless bastard!
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:13 AM]:
hosat eh?
GjuddyMcMudd [10:13 AM]:
the vet says it’s very humane
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:13 AM]:
Heartless scum!
GjuddyMcMudd [10:13 AM]:
over in seconds
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:14 AM]:
Why don’t you bring him over here and we’ll videotape me smashing the poor bastard’s skull with a louisville?
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:14 AM]:
You sick creep!
GjuddyMcMudd [10:14 AM]:
now that’s sick
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:15 AM]:
Just take him for a ride and let him fend for himself.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:15 AM]:
naw, he’d find his way home
GjuddyMcMudd [10:15 AM]:
of course it would be cheaper
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:15 AM]:
What’s it cost to stick him with a needle sicko?
GjuddyMcMudd [10:15 AM]:
around 130 bucks
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:15 AM]:
Heart of stone…. heart of stone I say…
GjuddyMcMudd [10:16 AM]:
well, it’s not an easy decision
GjuddyMcMudd [10:16 AM]:
but he’s miserable
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:16 AM]:
Why don’t you just sew his asshole up?
GjuddyMcMudd [10:16 AM]:
whining all the time
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:16 AM]:
That way there’s no dump and you can keep him.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:16 AM]:
he want’s out and he can’t go out
GjuddyMcMudd [10:16 AM]:
I think if given the choice, he’d choose death over spending the rest of his life indoors
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:17 AM]:
Well keep letting him out until your asshole neighbors send him over to the pound again and then just make the call. Easzy peazy….
GjuddyMcMudd [10:17 AM]:
lemon squeezy
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:17 AM]:
That way he gets to go out until those fucks make the decision for ya.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:17 AM]:
ya. just don’t pick him up from the pound
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:17 AM]:
And you don’t smell dumps. Everyone wins!
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:17 AM]:
hahahha
GjuddyMcMudd [10:18 AM]:
broootal dumps
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:18 AM]:
You beast!
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:18 AM]:
You’re as bad as Vlad the Impaler!
GjuddyMcMudd [10:18 AM]:
ah huh
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:19 AM]:
I’m gonna do a painting of you with cats impaled on spikes…
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:19 AM]:
Eating your dinner.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:19 AM]:
the cats are eating my dinner
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:20 AM]:
And dumping it out on ya.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:20 AM]:
that’s what it smells like down here…
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:20 AM]:
Good enough reason to destroy a loving family pet in my books.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:21 AM]:
and he doesn’t even cover it up…just leaves the big stinky steaming pile perched atop his litter for maximum stench coverage
GjuddyMcMudd [10:21 AM]:
he’s doing it on purpose
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:22 AM]:
What a predicament…
GjuddyMcMudd [10:24 AM]:
I know…my life seems very complicated at the moment
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:25 AM]:
Well - just the cat story alone is more stress than needed.. haha
GjuddyMcMudd [10:25 AM]:
all of a sudden, i feel very tired
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:27 AM]:
The dump is making you dizzy.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:27 AM]:
I feel like I’m sitting in a big workboot
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:28 AM]:
With stinky, scratchy socks.
GjuddyMcMudd [10:28 AM]:
big brown dogs
GjuddyMcMudd [10:28 AM]:
big stretchy, completely non-absorbant brown dogs
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:28 AM]:
So the sweat just leaks out of them….
GjuddyMcMudd [10:29 AM]:
and pools in the bottom
GjuddyMcMudd [10:29 AM]:
of the boot
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:29 AM]:
It’s like a puddle where ever he walks…
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:29 AM]:
hahahah
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:29 AM]:
SICK
GjuddyMcMudd [10:29 AM]:
alright, enough of that
GjuddyMcMudd [10:31 AM]:
just gave the whole basement a good lysolling
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:33 AM]:
Yum
BuCkSaTaN>:)[10:34 AM]:
Lysol and catshit always mix into a lovely pot pourri.